Episode 12: Breaking the cycle of abuse with Darnell Rice
In today's episode of the Stack’n’Days podcast, Ray speaks to Darnell Rice, founder and program director of Embrace Elevate, an organisation that deals with sexual violence, rape, and unhealthy relationships. As April was sexual assault awareness month, Darnell shares his story of sexual assault and how he became the curse breaker in his family.
Childhood Trauma and Addiction
Darnell Rice's dad passed away when he was four, and his mom got a new partner who was an alcoholic. His mom's partner physically, emotionally, and mentally abused Darnell and his mom. This abuse went on for about five years, and Darnell realized that addictions are often tied to childhood trauma. When Darnell was eight, he got a baseball bat and said to his mom's partner that if he touched his mom again, he would kill him. His mom’s partner stopped abusing them.
Darnell’s healing process
Darnell was working a dead-end job, and he needed something to change. He had dealt with a lot of issues, including bad relationships and not loving himself due to his childhood trauma. He realized he needed to do something to help other kids in the same situation. Darnell never had a childhood, and he wanted to change that for others. While studying his masters Darnell met Lorenzo Lewis, founder of The Confess Project of America. Lorenzo became his mentor and offered him a job. He helped Darnell start the healing process and grow, encouraging him to go to therapy.
Tools to help deal with trauma
Men who have experienced abuse or other traumas often use substances to self-medicate to help deal with it. Darnell recommends some healthier options:
Meditation
Affirmations
Setting boundaries
Self-care
Embrace Elevate
Embrace Elevate is a survivor-led program that uses storytelling, presentations, and workshops to connect with their audience. They provide presentations on consent, prevention advocacy and stigma, and clergy programs. Embrace provides resources for people who need it and points them in the direction of other resources.
Shame in Sexual Abuse Survivors
Darnell knows that it is difficult for people to talk about their own abuse because of biases in society. To help people get past the shame and express themselves, Darnell lets people know it is a brave space. He never pressures people, but he says that to heal, you need to face these things eventually.
Breaking the Cycle of Trauma
Darnell believes that he is a curse breaker and will stop the cycle of trauma in his family. He encourages others to start their healing journey and emphasizes that healing is uncomfortable and must start with the individual. He reminds survivors that they are not damaged goods.
Darnell's Contact Information
For more information about Embrace Elevate, visit their website at www.embraceelevate.com, follow them on Instagram at @Embrace_elevate, or find them on Facebook at Embrace. You can also reach out to them at embraceelevate44@gmail.com.
Additional Resources
Helping Survivors - helpingsurvivors.org