Episode 14: Becoming the role model he needed in his own life with Chris Dickerson

Chris Dickerson shares his story and wisdom with Ray in this episode of the Stack’n’Days podcast. Chris is a recovering addict and alcoholic, and sheds light on his path to recovery and the profound impact sobriety has had on his life. 

The seeds of addiction and coping mechanisms

Chris opens up about his early life, revealing that he faced childhood trauma and lacked the necessary tools to cope with it. As a result, he developed various defense mechanisms such as dissociation, codependency, lying, and manipulation as a means of self-preservation.

An attraction to alcohol

Even as a child, Chris was intrigued by the effects of alcohol on people's behavior. He would pretend to drink and smoke, imitating the adults around him. Chris moved to Hawaii as a teenager and played football in school. This exposed him to alcohol and partying, as he found himself surrounded by older teammates. Chris says looked old for his age and that people assume black people in Hawaii are in the military. This meant he could buy liquor without being asked for ID.

Escalating addiction

Chris's drinking habits intensified during his college years studying in California. Chris’s then-girlfriend fell pregnant and he felt trapped in a life he wasn’t ready for. He held a lot of resentment towards his girlfriend. Seeking a sense of control, Chris turned to excessive drinking and partying. Eventually, he moved back home to Hawaii after his daughter's birth, but his self-destructive habits followed him, leading to a downward spiral of constant drinking, drug use, and smoking.

Reaching rock bottom 

Chris found himself in a dark place and realized he was not the person he wanted to be. He was wasting money and his substance abuse was taking a toll on his relationship. In 2018, he and his wife separated, prompting Chris to face the reality of his addiction. Although he was high-functioning, he struggled to accept that he was an alcoholic or addict.

Running away

In an attempt to escape his troubles, Chris moved to Texas and later to Seattle, hoping that a change of environment would help him regain control. He experimented with different approaches to moderation, such as drinking only beer and tried some lifestyle practices like yoga and exercising. Unfortunately these tactics were not successful. Reluctantly attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings to appease others, he drank beforehand and couldn't relate to the people he encountered there.

The importance of community and representation

Chris highlights the lack of diversity he experienced in the AA meetings he attended. Feeling disconnected, he tried various alternatives to no avail. He eventually found solace in a meeting called "Black Experience," where he felt a sense of belonging. Embracing vulnerability, he sought guidance from a sponsor, initially struggling to trust authority figures. However, his sponsor provided him with valuable insights and support, helping him navigate the recovery process.

The power of therapy 

Chris emphasizes the tremendous impact therapy has had on his recovery journey. Ray adds that therapy, especially for black men who often build emotional barriers, is vital for healing. Both Chris and Ray express the importance of feeling comfortable with a therapist who shares their background

Chris’s contact details 

Instagram: @dick_nda_house