Episode 59: Therapy, Love, and Pickleball: How I’m Working Through The Challenges of Sobriety

Grief, time, love and...pickleball. In this week's solo episode, Ray reflects on the past three years of his sobriety journey – what he considers the most challenging and deeply reflective years of his life. He opens up about the emotional weight of grief, the impact of aging family members, and the role of therapy in maintaining his sobriety. This podcast has become a therapeutic outlet. He talks about the importance of his Black female therapist, the lessons time teaches in recovery, and the importance of finding joy and levity along the way.

Therapeutic Value of Podcasting

Ray views his podcast as more than just a platform; it's a vital therapeutic outlet in his life. "This isn't about making money for me; it's a space where I can process my thoughts and feelings," he explains. Amid the chaos of life, his podcast acts as a pillar of support, allowing him to connect with others and share experiences that resonate with both him and his audience. "When I talk to guests, it’s like a healing conversation, and it reminds me that I’m not alone in this journey," he adds, emphasizing the shared understanding that can come from storytelling.

Importance of Therapy

In Ray's sobriety journey, therapy plays a crucial role, providing a safe space for exploration and growth. He found the space to open up with a Black female therapist. "Therapy has been instrumental in my life; it's where I can unpack my feelings without judgment," he shares, highlighting how essential it is to have an outlet for emotions. Ray reflects on his positive experiences with his therapist, stating, "She helped me uncover parts of myself I didn't even know existed.” But now that she’s on maternity leave, he has had to navigate his sobriety without the space that he’d become so comfortable in. If anything, this has been a big test of his sobriety to continue the lessons he’s learned without his teacher. 

The Role of Time in Sobriety

Time is a vital teacher when you’re on your sober journey. "The longer I'm away from harmful behaviors, the clearer I see my patterns and my surroundings," Ray explains, illustrating how distance from past choices can foster self-awareness. He believes that time allows individuals to learn about their strengths and weaknesses, stating, "Each day sober brings new lessons about myself and the life I want to lead." Recovery is not just about abstaining from substances but also about evolving and growing.

Reshaping Relationships

While navigating his sobriety journey, Ray’s marriage has been presented with challenges. "Sobriety has tested our relationship, but it’s also shown us what we’re capable of together," he admits, recognizing that facing difficulties can deepen connections. Ray reflects on the transformation in his marriage, stating, "The challenges we face have only deepened my love and appreciation for my wife..” Ray even sends an apology to his wife for airing their trials and tribulations, but he believes others can learn from what they’re going through. 

Finding Levity

Do you play pickleball? Well, what are you waiting for? It’s only one of the fastest growing sports in the U.S. It’s perfect for literally any age and athletic ability. Ray advocates for the importance of finding joy in everyday life because you don’t have to take yourself so seriously! Some silliness can combat negative self-talk. "Humor is a powerful tool; it helps me push back against the heaviness of my thoughts," Ray says. Engaging in activities like playing pickleball not only promotes physical health but also fosters connections across diverse backgrounds. Maybe it’s journaling or biking or drawing – whatever the activity, have fun with it!